Bert Hellinger has said that he considers his
parents and his childhood home to be the first major influence
on his later work.
He goes on to describe his desire as a young
person to become a priest as having a powerful influence on
the shaping of his life. At the age of 20, immediately after
getting out of prisoner of war camp, he entered a Catholic religious
order and began the long process of purification of body, mind
and spirit in silence, study, contemplation and meditation.
Hellinger went on to spend 16 years in South
Africa as a missionary to the Zulu. This experience also helped
to form a cornerstone of his current work, as the process of
leaving one culture to live in another sharpened his awareness
of the relativity of many cultural values.
The next major influence on his life he says
was his participation in an interracial, ecumenical training
in group dynamics led by Anglican clergymen. They had brought
a form of working with groups from America that valued dialogue,
phenomenology, and individual human experience. He experienced
for the first time a new dimension of caring for souls. He tells
how one of the trainers once asked the group, "What’s
more important to you, your ideals or people? Which do you sacrifice
for the other?" A sleepless night followed, for the implications
of the question are profound. Hellinger says, "I’m
very grateful to that minister for asking that. In a sense,
the question changed my life. That fundamental orientation toward
people has shaped all my work since. A good question’s
worth a lot."
The decision to leave the religious order after
25 years was amicable. According to Hellinger, it gradually
became clear that being a priest no longer was an appropriate
expression of his inner growth.
Psychoanalysis was to be the next major influence.
He became completely absorbed in psychoanalytic training, reading
everything he could get his hands on, including a copy of Janov’s
Primal Scream. Hellinger immediately wanted to know more. He
visited Janov in the United States, and undertook a nine-month
training with him.
Several other therapeutic schools have been
important influences on Hellinger’s work.
He became interested in Gestalt Therapy through Ruth Cohen and
Hilarion Petzold and trained with them both. He met Fanita English
during this period, and through her was introduced to Transactional
Analysis and the work of Eric Bern. Together with his wife,
Herta, he integrated what he had already learned of group dynamics
and psychoanalysis with Gestalt Therapy, Primal Therapy, and
Transactional Analysis. His work in Script Analysis led to the
discovery that some scripts function across generations. The
dynamics of identification also gradually became clear during
this period.
Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy’s book Invisible
Bonds and his recognition of hidden loyalties and the need for
a balance between giving and taking in families also were important.
He trained in family therapy with Ruth McClendon
and Leslie Kadis. That’s where he first encountered family
constellations. "I was very impressed by their work, but
I couldn’t understand it. Nevertheless, I decided that
I wanted to work systemically. Then I got to thinking about
at the work I’d already been doing and thought, ‘It’s
good too. I’m not going to give that up before I really
understand systemic family therapy.’ So I just kept on
doing what I’d been doing. After a year I thought about
it again, and I was surprised to discover that I was working
systemically."
His reading of Jay Haley’s article about
the “perverse triangle” helped to forge his understanding
of the importance of hierarchy in families. Additional work
in family therapy with Thea Schönfelder followed, as did
training in Milton Erickson’s Hypnotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic
Programming (NLP). Frank Farelly’s Provocative Therapyhad
a place as did the Holding Therapy developed by Irena Precop.
The most important element he took from NLP is the emphasis
on working with resources rather than with problems. His use
of stories in therapy of course pays tribute to Milton Erickson.
The first story he told in therapy was the story “Two
Measures of Happiness.”
Those familiar with the full range of psychotherapy
will recognize that Hellinger’s contribution is his unique
integration of diverse elements. He makes no claim that he has
discovered something new–but there’s no question
but that he has made a new integration. He has the natural ability
to throw himself into uncharted waters, and once he has learned
what there is to learn, to move on.
Most significant in all of his learning: The
skill of listening to the authority of one’s own soul–for
although it isn’t foolproof, it’s the only real
protection we have against seduction by false authorities. His
insistence on seeing what is as opposed to blindly accepting
what we’re told–combined with the unwavering loyalty
and trust in one’s own soul–is the fundamental basis
upon which this work has been built.
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